The Llama Song Has You
by Anakin McFly
Summary: The Matrix versions of The Llama Song: The Agent Song, The Neo Song, The Morpheus Song, The Cypher Song, The Mero Song, The Oracle Song, The Trinity Song, The Mouse Song, The Squiddy Song, The Cookie Song, The Redpill Song and now The Sati Song
1. The Agent Song

Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix or The Llama Song.

This is my third Llama song fanfic parody... I'll stop soon, I promise!

This fic was written by me and three classmates. To hear a version of The Llama Song, go to albinoblacksheep(.)com.

**The Agent Song**

Here's an Agent  
There's an Agent  
And another hundred Agents  
Running Agent,flying Agent  
Agent Agent duck.

Agent Agent cleansing Agent  
Matrix green reducing Agent  
Agent Agent bang bang Agent  
Agent Agent duck.

Smith had lots of copies  
They all looked the same  
Each with suits and shades so cool  
The One, they tried to maim  
But he totally squashed them  
And flew into the sky  
So they dream to one day watch  
The One collapse and die.

Did you ever see an Agent  
Slash an Agent, bash an Agent  
Wearing shades affects your vision  
Agent Agent duck.

Twice an Agent, thrice an Agent  
Lots more Agents, rabbit Agent  
Agent in a subway Agent  
Agent Agent duck.

Hello Mr. Anderson  
Why do you persist  
You know we will squash you  
So why do you resist?  
My hairs' getting thin now  
Wish I were an elf  
Maybe I should spend less time  
Looking at myself.

**THE END**

REVIEW!


	2. The Neo Song

Disclaimer: I don't own The Matrix or The Llama Song.

Hi folks! Here's the unasked for sequel to The Agent Song... THE NEO SONG. So, um, yeah.

* * *

**THE NEO SONG**

Here's a Neo, there's a Neo  
And another half-dead Neo  
Hacker Neo, blank look Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

Neo Neo nice shades Neo  
Nametag joystick toenail Neo  
Neo Neo shoebox Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

He lived in the U.S.  
Americans are weird  
They all spell things funny  
At least, that's what I've heard  
Neo was the Chosen One  
Just like Anakin  
You make them fight each other and  
I wonder who will win.

Did you ever see a Neo  
Break Smith's cool shades, bad move Neo  
Fly around the Matrix Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

Matrix Neo, Real World Neo  
All food tastes like chicken Neo  
Morpheus has a bald head Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

Why's this song so drawn out?  
It's two verses too long  
Should have ended long ago  
Like The Agent Song  
L. and A. Wachowski  
Are rolling deep in cash  
So go traumatise them  
By writing Matrix slash.

Neo Neo red pill Neo  
Pillow scotchtape bogus Neo  
Wonder if he's dead now Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

Neo Neo rhymes with B.O.  
Stapler oven keyboard Neo  
Cool breeze over mountain Neo  
Neo Neo duck.

**END.**

**

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**Review! ;P 

Thanks to everyone who reviewed The Agent Song! Speaking of which, I've actually made a PowerPoint Presentation for that one, though I don't have pictures for agents slashing and bashing other agents...

To HannahCimsGwendolyn: Nope, I've never heard of the tiny bubbles song.


	3. The Morpheus Song

Disclaimer: Don't own The Matrix trilogy or anything related to it. Except the DVDs, of course. And the fanfic I write. 

The author would like to say that this song means no offence whatsoever to the follicle-challenged members of our population.

* * *

**THE MORPHEUS SONG**

Here's a Morpheus, there's a Morpheus   
And another hairless Morpheus   
Bald guy Morpheus, bald dude Morpheus   
Morpheus has no hair. 

Morpheus Morpheus shampoo Morpheus   
Tonic skinhead shiny Morpheus   
Morpheus Morpheus chrome dome Morpheus   
Morpheus has no hair. 

When this guy was one day old,   
He did not have hair   
And though he's now much older,   
The hair is still not there   
No hair in the Matrix,   
Where there is hair galore   
Maybe he's just meant to stay   
This way forever more. 

Did you ever see a Morpheus   
Who had hair? Of course not! Morpheus   
Prob'ly thinks that having hair jus'   
Means you need shampoo. 

And of course, we all know shampoo   
Costs a lot of money that you   
Should spend on things much more useful   
Morpheus has no hair. 

Throughout _Matrix_ one two three,   
Morpheus has no hair   
In the _Animatrix_,   
Morpheus has no hair   
If you watch the Making Of,   
Laurence has no hair   
So all of you salesmen dudes   
Should sell shampoo elsewhere. 

**END.**

Review!

* * *

Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. ;) 

**Fellowship of the Band Geeks:** Yeah, I'll probably put the PowerPoints up on my website when they're done, though I'm not sure how that would work out or of they would display properly... it'll still take some time though.   
**elephantsrocmysox:** I haven't the faintest idea, though I've found out that the best way to get ideas is to vow not to write a single word until exams are over. 


	4. The Cypher Song

Disclaimer: Mine, _The Matrix_ is not.

* * *

**THE CYPHER SONG**

Here's a Cypher,  
There's a Cypher  
And another bad guy Cypher  
Traitor Cypher, no hair Cypher  
Cypher, Cypher duck.

Cypher Cypher plastic Cypher  
School badge shiny rhino Cypher  
Cypher Cypher squeak-squeak Cypher  
Cypher Cypher duck.

Cypher was a bad guy  
He killed a lot of dudes  
Cypher killed a dudette too  
And not much rhymes with dudes  
Cypher's head is shiny  
Just like Morpheus's  
They must both have fallen 'neath  
The evil no-hair curse.

Did you ever see a Cypher  
Pull the plug on Apoc, Cypher  
Eat a steak that's juicy, Cypher  
Cypher Cypher duck.

Moustached Cypher, ha ha Cypher  
Wished he took the blue pill Cypher  
Hello Mr. Reagan, Cypher  
Cypher Cypher duck.

Now ol' Cypher's dead and gone  
'Cos Tank blew him to bits  
When poor Morpheus heard the news  
He nearly called it quits  
Much as he was glad to hear  
The end of that 'lil drip,  
He realised he was now the only  
Bald guy on the ship.

**- END - **

Review! XD

(For those of you who want it, I've done The Agent Song in PowerPoint - go to my bio for the link. There's no music though, because I don't trust my singing and neither does my brother. I thought of putting in background music, but it would have made the file too large... so just go to the site, click to change the slides, and sing along on your own. ;P )

(Coming up next is The Mero Song, by request of Matrix Refugee.)


	5. The Mero Song

Sorry for taking so long, but this one was kind of hard and fanficnet also had uploading errors when I'd finally finished it...

With no further ado, this is the Mero Song, as requested by Matrix Refugee:

**THE MERO SONG**

Here's a Mero, zere's a Mero  
And anuzzer balding Mero  
Eating Mero, French guy Mero  
Mero Mero duck.

Mero Mero olive Mero  
Dustbin switchboard pencil Mero  
Mero Mero ice-cream Mero  
Mero Mero duck.

Mero was a Frenchman  
Dat's why he spik so weird  
He lived in the Chateau  
And Mero has no beard  
Mero likes to dress in white  
It's quite hard to keep clean  
That is why he doesn't fight  
Just sits there and looks mean.

Did you ever see a Mero  
Try to murder Neo, Mero  
Mero wears a white suit, Mero  
Mero Mero duck.

No shades Mero, nice house Mero  
Zere's a fly in ze soup, Mero  
Wants eyes of ze Oracle, Mero  
Mero Mero duck.

Where'd he end up in the end?  
We're not quite sure of this  
Maybe he went back to France  
His homeland, he must miss  
Maybe he's just sick of all  
Those people wearing black  
And now I've got to end; the teacher's  
Standing 'hind my back.

**end.**

Whoa, this fic has the second highest review-to-chapter-number-ratio among all my fics... thanks a lot, everyone! ;) ...And uh, no, there wasn't any teacher standing behind my back, but it rhymed...

(Oh, and for song requests, the character's name has to have two syllables, or else it wouldn't fit...)


	6. The Oracle Song

Disclaimer: Matrix not mine.

I changed my mind; three-syllable names _can_ fit, after all. Some of them, anyway...

(For the purposes of this song, 'Oracle' is pronounced 'Orcle'.)

**THE ORACLE SONG**

Here's an Oracle, there's an Oracle  
And another quite plump Oracle  
Cookie Oracle, swivel Oracle  
Oracle Oracle duck.

Oracle Oracle market Oracle  
Health care speaker public Oracle   
Oracle Oracle airport Oracle  
Oracle Oracle duck.

Oracle liked to smoke a lot  
'Twas not good for her health  
She must have envied Neo's teeth  
When she looked in his mouth  
She gave Neo a cookie  
To rot his teeth a bit  
If only Neo knew the truth  
About that scheming git.

Did you ever see an Oracle  
Burn her fingers, careless Oracle  
Stuck 'em in the oven, Oracle  
Oracle Oracle duck.

Freshly baked in oven Oracle  
Oracle tastes like chicken, Oracle  
Eats a lot of candy, Oracle  
Oracle Oracle duck

Oracle soon became a Smith  
The change was free of charge  
(Although it took a little time  
'Cos she was kind of large.)  
So,  
Smith had all the Oracle's powers  
And knew the future too  
Then Smith got blown up by that guy  
Who was played by Keanu.

**- end - **

The Trinity Song coming up soon... and perhaps Seraph, as suggested by HannahCimsGwendolyn. Whee.

Technically I have exams in 11 days and should be studying.


	7. The Trinity Song

Trinity - prounounced 'Trinty' here.

**The Trinity Song**

Here's a Trinity, there's a Trinity  
And another flying Trinity  
Dead, alive, and then dead Trinity  
Trinity Trinity duck.

Trinity Trinity liquid Trinity  
Island apple paintings Trinity  
Trinity Trinity carrot Trinity  
Trinity Trinity duck.

Trinity was a hacker  
And black she always wore  
She cracked the IRS D-Base  
As well as much much more  
Trinity liked to fight in shades  
It's cool to not-quite-see  
(Though not as cool to not be sure  
Just who's your enemy.)

Did you ever see a Trinity  
Hair stuck fast with hair gell Trinity  
Went in last and got killed Trinity  
Trinity Trinity duck.

Hovering Trinity, crane kick Trinity  
Murder hapless guard dudes Trinity  
Wake up Trinity, get up Trinity  
Trinity Trinity duck.

She was the second-in-command  
It really was quite fun  
'Cause she could order people 'round  
Inclusive of The One  
She was the girlfriend of The One  
He's dead and so is she  
Yet Morpheus lives; I bet it's all  
One huge conspiracy.

Let's blame Morpheus, let's blame Morpheus  
Let's blame Morpheus, let's blame Morpheus  
Let's blame Morpheus, let's blame Morpheus  
Morpheus Morpheus duck.

**- end - **

Next up - The Squiddy Song and The Mouse Song. ;)


	8. The Mouse Song

Disclaimer: The Matrix and The Llama Song aren't mine.

Since this has been requested several times, I present:

**THE MOUSE SONG**

Here's a live Mouse, there's a dead Mouse  
Whee, let's go defenestrate Mouse  
Keep this PG, don't castrate Mouse  
Yay Mouse, go Mouse! duck.

Mouse Mouse cheese Mouse  
Clockwork toy Mouse  
Leopard chair legs zipper door Mouse  
Mouse Mouse moon Mouse  
Technophile Mouse  
See Mouse, hi Mouse! duck.

You know that woman dressed in red?  
Well, she was his creation  
And Mouse was very proud of her  
To others' consternation  
He asked Neo if he would like  
To meet her for some fun  
(Perhaps he thought it would be good  
To suck up to The One.)

Did you ever see a rogue Mouse  
Try to sell you deathsticks, bad Mouse  
Go home and rethink your life, Mouse  
Yay Mouse, go Mouse! duck

Tastes like snot Mouse, Tastee Wheat Mouse  
Digital pimp hard at work Mouse  
No one makes the first jump, right Mouse?  
See Mouse, hi Mouse! duck.

Mouse died fighting for his life  
A noble way to die  
He died alone with none to hear  
His last words or goodbye  
The one in red, she didn't save  
Her dying creator  
So let's all do the right thing and  
Put all the blame on her.

Let's blame Morpheus, let's blame Morpheus  
Let's blame Morpheus, let's blame Morpheus  
Oops wrong guy heck let's blame Morpheus  
Morpheus Morpheus duck.

**- end - **

Okay, got to go. Being chased off the computer. Exams in two days, argh.


	9. The Squiddy Song

Whee.

**THE SQUIDDY SONG**

Here's a squiddy, there's a squiddy  
And another dozen squiddies  
Killer squiddy, no good squiddy  
Squiddy squiddy duck.

Squiddy squiddy window squiddy  
Money wristwatch finger squiddy  
Squiddy squiddy nosebleed squiddy  
Squiddy squiddy duck.

Squiddies have two purposes:  
To search and to destroy  
(Though if you stay quite still you may just  
Foil their little ploy)  
They have these red lights for their eyes  
Their tentacles are scary  
Though to defeat them isn't hard  
Turn on your EMP.

Did you ever see a squiddy  
Tango with another squiddy  
Fly around in sewers icky  
Squiddy squiddy duck.

Slicing squiddy, jabbing squiddy  
These aren't from the ocean, squiddy  
These ones live in sewers, squiddy  
Squiddy squiddy duck.

But now the war is over  
And they're all obsolete  
Perhaps they'll take up knitting  
Or learn to type in 1337  
It'll be so very fun to see  
Them try to dance ballet  
Though it's not likely that things will  
Be turning out that way.

**end.**


	10. The Cookie Song

Disclaimer: Matrix trilogy and The Llama Song equals not mine.

**THE COOKIE SONG**

Here's a cookie, there's a cookie  
And another dozen cookies  
Yummy cookie, tasty cookie  
Cookie cookie duck

Cookie cookie oven cookie  
Liquid Sasquatch melon cookie  
Cookie cookie yoga cookie  
Cookie cookie duck

Cookies taste delicious  
The virtual ones do, too  
Baking cookie's what the Or'cle  
Always loves to do  
She handed one to Neo  
To make him right as rain  
And make him fit to face the evil  
Agents once again

Did you ever see a cookie  
Dipped in coffee, soggy cookie  
Let's try new ingredients, likee  
Garbage cookie... yuck.

Chocolate cookie, Oreo cookie  
Lemon cookie, shortbread cookie  
Now I bet you wanna cookie  
Cookie cookie duck.

The cookies were the reason  
The human race was saved  
It's all about the cookies that  
The One soon learned to crave  
He knew that if ol' Smithy won  
He'd not taste one again  
So that's why Neo gave his all  
While fighting in the rain.

But he never got his cookie  
'Cos ol' Smithy ain't a rookie  
(Though Chewbacca is a Wookiee)  
Cookie cookie duck.

So Smith got Neo in the end  
But then he died as well  
As for his clones around the planet,  
One by one they fell  
Well, actually they didn't fall  
They sort of just exploded  
(They could have cut the story short  
And done that in Reloaded.)

**end.**

Yay.

Uh, small advertisement here for my three-part fanfic novel, _Real World_; link to it is in my bio.

It's a crossover between Back to the Future, The Matrix, Bill & Ted, The Frighteners, Star Wars and a little of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (Neo meets Ted in part two. ::prods all you Keanu fans out there:: you know you want to read this...)

Synopsis: Several movie characters get zapped into the real world and have to deal with each other and the discovery that they are fictional. Genre is humour-angst science-fantasy. Word count is 107,411 words.

If you read it, please please please leave a review or something to tell me; currently there have been about 80 downloads but only seven people have told me that they've read it or are reading it. It's kind of discouraging to have spent three years writing something and getting nothing out of it. :(

-end plug-


	11. The Redpill Song

Disclaimer: Same thing as always. Nothing has changed since then regarding the owner of the Matrix franchise rights.

Grammar has been slightly sacrificed here for the sake of rhyme.

**The Redpill Song**

Here's a redpill, there's a redpill  
And another lot of redpills  
Gotta save them, stupid redpills  
Redpill redpill duck.

Redpill redpill whoopi redpill  
Speaker modem birth pangs redpill  
Redpill redpill goldberg redpill  
Redpill redpill duck.

One by one they see the truth  
About reality  
They learn to break or bend the rules  
Of things like gravity  
And then you've got to save them in  
The _Path of Neo_ game  
Ensuring that their lives will never  
Ever be the same.

Did you ever see a redpill  
Who did more than stand there, until  
You fought off the bad guys; redpill  
Just stood there and cheered

Would be nice if they had fought too  
Helped you out a little, 'cause you  
Might be Neo, but still then, you  
Is just little n00b

But soon the game is over  
Your homework still undone  
A testament towards your several  
Days of X-box fun  
Spent freeing redpills round the world  
And pwning Agents too  
(Though CG Neo in the game  
Don't look like Keanu.)

**end.**

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR:D


	12. The Sati Song

Hi everyone! I'm still alive, graduated from high school, and off to university in several months if I manage to get into one.

**THE SATI SONG**

Here's a Sati, there's a Sati  
And another ickle Sati  
Indian pigtail carwash Sati  
Sati Sati duck

Sati Sati point break Sati  
Odious happy warcraft Sati  
Sati ain't a human Sati  
Sati Sati duck

Cookies need a lot of love  
Just like everything  
Such as purple dinos and  
Extreme tobogganing  
Sati helped the Oracle bake  
This led her to her doom  
See, kids, you should skedaddle  
While Or'cle's in the room.

Did you ever hear a Sati  
Say that cookies smelt good, Sati  
Smith got her, so goodbye Sati  
Sati Sati duck

Sati messed with cookies, Sati  
If they're bad it's her fault, Sati  
What's she smiling at, that Sati  
Creepy Sati duck

Then things went back to normal and so  
Sati got de-Smithed  
She came to lying on the road  
(Bad Jedis are called Sith)  
She made a sunrise in the sky  
T'was bright and pretty too  
All for the sake of some dead guy  
Crap, no rhyme... Keanu?

**END.**


End file.
